Sharing Wisdom from Life Experience

I was messaging with a friend tonight and being caught up in myself (how selfish!) I completely forgot that today is a HUGE day for her. Today she celebrates a 2 year commitment to break a cycle and embrace herself as God sees her.

I realized what today is when I read a post she had on Facebook and with her permission I am sharing her post because there truly is so much to learn from the experiences of others. Sometimes we can take it all and sometimes it’s just bits and pieces of nuggets, but what my dear friend wrote tonight is truly something to take in and apply. Enjoy!

So…..many of my close friends know that today, December 1st, is a very special day for me.

One, it’s the two year anniversary of me officially starting this phase of my life as a single mother….again.

Two, it was also the beginning day when I chose to make a vow not to date for two years. I figured with the track record I had in regards to relationships, it was time to do some major work on ME. You see, I could only blame the other persons so much until it came time to take a hard long look in the mirror at ME. What’s that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different? That fit me to a T.

So that is what I have been doing for two years. And it has sucked and been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And it has been amazing and one of the most rewarding experiences ever! Am I fixed and perfect? Heck, no! But I am eyes wide open and I would like to think much wiser. There is still a lot of work to be done, but I know what it is and am taking those strides to get me there.

What have I learned over these past two years? Here’s a few highlights:
1) It takes a village. Relationships are so key. We are not meant to do this thing called life alone. Make friends. Join groups. Don’t isolate.
2) It’s okay to ask for help and/or to accept offered help. We are not and were never meant to be super-humans. We can’t do it all. We need help. (see #1). This also means to seek out good professional help as needed. There is no shame in speaking to a professional. Get over yourself.
3) I don’t need a man to “complete” me. No man, thing, or person can make me happy, fulfilled, complete, whole, etc. It’s just not possible. It’s not fair to them or me to put that expectation out there.
4) Faith is THE foundation. Sure there will be those who are rolling their eyes reading this. But hey, if you don’t have faith, you don’t have hope. Plain and simple. Plus faith gives you a pretty good set of guidelines to go by when in doubt.
5) Wise counsel is not only a good idea, but it is crucial. You need people in your life that will tell you that you are messing up. You will need people that will listen and then tell you what you don’t want to hear, even though you know they are right. You need good people to bounce your ideas and emotions off of. This ties into #1.
6) Birds of a feather flock together. Or better yet, if you lay down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas. Make sure you are hanging with the right crowd.
7) Marriage is not meant to meet my needs. It’s meant for me to meet someone else’s needs. To completely get over myself, get past my ego, and put someone before me. Wow. Total reality shift there. That’s why it is so, SO important to get your head on straight before getting back out there and rebounding with the first man that comes along.

That’s all that is coming to me right now. There is so much more that I learned, but it is hard to put it to words. I do want to say thank you to each and every friend and family member who has stood beside me along this journey over the past two years. I couldn’t have done this without you. I love you all!

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