Who is it that I seek to impress anyway? If I say it is the Lord then why do I fear? His Word is clear and repeats, “do not fear,” and then here in 1 John reminding me…there is no fear in love – he is love. If I am truly hidden in him, lost in him, awestruck by him there is no fear only an undying longing to know him, seek him, honor him, obey him, impress only him.
When I shrink back in fear, I must have stepped away from him.
When my mind talk and doubt is louder than my heart talk and faith, I must have wandered onto my own path and out from under his protective covering.
When someone else’s opinion of me and harsh words derail me, I must have taken my identity away from him and placed it in the hands of my foes.
Rather than cower to fear I will use fear as a reminder to lean in closer to the One who drives fear away.
Caught up in my own mindtalk this week I approached this morning in desperation for God to heal my preoccupation of self and give me a dose of truth…His truth. I prayed the armor of God but this time from the good old words of New King James translation and asked God to show me where I was leaving myself open to the enemy’s defeat.
Often a person knowingly allows herself to believe a lie because of fear or self-pity (NKJV)
Okay Lord, must your response so be so blunt?
The heart must be kept pure and righteous because sin gives a foothold to the enemy
Umm…where have I sinned Lord? Show me.
Peace and reconciliation.
Ugh! I am spreading peace….with those who make it easy to approach. It’s not like I can go thumping people on the head with a Bible! What about those who have a wall up? What about those who spread false accusations? What about those whose main goal is to stay as far away as possible?
An undaunted sense of mission keeps the believer headed in the right direction. Faith acts as an invisible shield that deflects such false accusations.
Lord, it’s hard and exhausting. I can only be who I am. What others perceive I can’t control.
Believers musts keep in constant communication with our Leader for direction and encouragement. Our prayers for one another are important and effectual.
Pray on, dear Friends…I’ll join with you. The battle is real and won on bended knee. Praying circles over you.
Where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18)
Imagine with me a world where our sons and daughters held their heads up high and walked with confidence as though they knew no other way. Imagine them comfortable in their own skin not giving a thought to the “I wish I was” or the “if only I had”. Imagine for just a moment a world where who you are and what you have doesn’t make us feel less because what we each have and who we each are makes the other better.
This is the world I pray for and the world I wake up fighting for each day.
Imagine a world where words are filled with love and praise, encouragement and empowerment. Imagine a world where competition is a marathon in which the goal is to become better than we were a minute ago, a day ago, a year ago, a life circumstance ago.
This is the work I’m blessed to do…the calling God has placed on my life is to share this…to take it beyond myself and make sure it makes it into the hearts and hands of all those He places in my path.
Every now and then I grow weary. Every now and then I lose the vision. Then God lovingly and graciously revives my soul (Jeremiah 31:25) and spurs me on.
He reminds me…
I have plans for my people (Jeremiah 29:11)
He reminds me…
It is for the sons and daughters…your sons and daughter…their sons and daughters (Revelation 21:7) and if for nothing else it’s for Him (Colossians 3:23)
He reminds me how…
I have given you all you need ( Psalm 139:13-14) My Spirit dwells in you (2 Timothy 1:14)
He reminds me when…
Now (James 4:13-15)
I shall not waste another moment wallowing in my own self doubt, but I will be who I pray for my children to be…unafraid, unashamed, uncontained. I will take what has been gifted to me and pour into the next partched soul waiting to be revived…the next rose waiting to blossom…the next giant waiting to be unleashed.
I’ve been changed. I’ve been changed and when I think about the intricacy of how it came about I smile in awe of God. I am no accident. Those nagging promptings deep within my soul…those longings for more…all of that is purposed and when I listen intentionally and am open to where God is leading I begin to see the path cleared out just for me. This path is only fit for my foot. Not one single other person on this earth can ever walk my path as it was specifically mapped out and chiseled for the things God planned for my life. In the big picture of it all…my path is less about me and more about what He intends on using me for.
As I sit on that thought I’m also left with the realization that if I don’t walk this path cleared out for me…if I for even just a little while attempt to walk someone else’s path then all He planned to use me for along the way gets left undone. Tears well up in my eyes at this thought.
This means that for each time I tried to be someone else or do what someone else was doing…each time I decided not to listen to that longing in my soul or that nagging voice within some piece of my path was missed never to be recovered again. A smile that could have graced the face of a beautiful person did not. A tear from a grieving person may not have been wiped. An encouraging word to a disappointed child wasn’t heard. A prayer for someone in need wasn’t petitioned. Who knows what didn’t come to fruition because I wasn’t being who He created me to be…I wasn’t walking in my cleared path because I was too busy listening to the noise around me. I was too distracted by someone else’s path that I missed the opportunities created just for me.
So a question was asked, who was I?
Negative of self.
Yearning for more.
But I’ve been changed…
Who am I now?
Free to see myself as God sees me.
Free to just be me.
Free to do what only I can do.
Free to walk the path that only my feet fit.
Free to be used to my full potential.
And in this new freedom I’m ready to ask the questions…
What to You want from me, Lord?
No holding back.
Where are we going, Lord?
Oh, just wait and see…
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“If we give more of ourselves to God, God will give more of Himself to us” – Mark Batterson
April 30, 2013
Father, I experienced this by saying “yes” even if saying yes means restoration. I’ve been hurt so much, but still if that’s what your will is – let your will be done. I released it to you and you’ve given me complete peace and joy – mostly I’ve gained a confidence – a contentment. Thank you. I’m in no hurry to manipulate your process. I only wish for Your will to be done. If that means a journey to restoration, I say yes. If it means a journey of singleness, I say yes. If it means a journey with someone else, I say yes, Lord.
A wise person is careful of what they say to the Lord. God follows through and he expects us to follow through on our word too. This note was written in my copy of “Draw the Circle” that I have since read over and over again. Each time I read it I smile as I reflect back on how God has worked through those prayers. He has answered some. He has not answered some. He has whispered “my child, not yet” many times, but this prayer was answered May 15, 2015 and is a reminder to me that the Lover of my soul knows me through and through and has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. He has a hope and a future for me…a hope and future more beautiful than I can imagine.
I am in no hurry to manipulate your process…I only wish for your will to be done
What’s next, Lord?
Thanks for stopping by. I’ve been through a year of change and I’m feeling pretty good about that. With that comes new inspiration and new opportunity so this blog too must be revamped a bit. I appreciate your patience through the process of getting my ideas from my head (it’s a jungle in there) to this page. Thanks for sticking with me!