“If we give more of ourselves to God, God will give more of Himself to us” – Mark Batterson

April 30, 2013

Father, I experienced this by saying “yes” even if saying yes means restoration. I’ve been hurt so much, but still if that’s what your will is – let your will be done. I released it to you and you’ve given me complete peace and joy – mostly I’ve gained a confidence – a contentment. Thank you. I’m in no hurry to manipulate your process. I only wish for Your will to be done. If that means a journey to restoration, I say yes. If it means a journey of singleness, I say yes. If it means a journey with someone else, I say yes, Lord.

A wise person is careful of what they say to the Lord. God follows through and he expects us to follow through on our word too. This note was written in my copy of “Draw the Circle”  that I have since read over and over again. Each time I read it I smile as I reflect back on how God has worked through those prayers. He has answered some. He has not answered some. He has whispered “my child, not yet” many times, but this prayer was answered May 15, 2015 and is a reminder to me that the Lover of my soul knows me through and through and has plans to prosper me, not to harm me. He has a hope and a future for me…a hope and future more beautiful than I can imagine.

I am in no hurry to manipulate your process…I only wish for your will to be done

What’s next, Lord?

Hi Friends,

Thanks for stopping by. I’ve been through a year of change and I’m feeling pretty good about that. With that comes new inspiration and new opportunity so this blog too must be revamped a bit. I appreciate your patience through the process of getting my ideas from my head (it’s a jungle in there) to this page. Thanks for sticking with me!

Love,

Sophia

Wow! It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here.

Uh-oh…that must mean it’s time to unload the million thoughts that have flooded my mind over the last 5ish months…

Let’s do this in list format:

1. I have amazing children who are unique, drive me crazy some days, and delight my heart always.

2. I love my Mom…she and I are so different and yet so the same, but I look into her eyes these days and I realize some things about her that make me smile…I see the raw beauty in her that most don’t get to see…I see the questions and concerns in her eyes that she won’t dare share because she’s too busy trying to shoulder it for everyone…I see the mom in her and I love her.

3. I’m not the same woman I was 2 months ago and you know what? I really appreciate the woman I was then because it’s made me the woman I am right now.

4. Life sucks, but it’s really sweet when you can give life a swift kick in the butt by resolving to smile and pray through it knowing God’s got this.

5. Miracles happen when one fully surrenders…don’t mistake surrendering for giving up because that’s far from it….surrender just means being okay with the results no matter what because God knows best. Surrender is saying “yes” to God even when you don’t quite know what the outcome will be and especially when saying “yes” takes you outside of your comfort zone.

6. If you don’t understand why God’s allowing doors to be shut, just trust…doors shut so others can be open and new doors yield a much better blessing than the door you’ve been clinging to….as the song says…”let it go…” (that’s for you, Rosalinda).

7. There is beauty in the broken…take the time to find it and you’ll find treasure.

8. Everyone needs a good dose of reality accompanied by a mighty circle of influence who will pray with you and for you…the circle of influence who will also say the hard stuff you need to hear even if you don’t want to hear it.

9. Don’t settle for fast food when you can hold out for the full banquet…in other words…don’t forfeit the real blessings for a quick fix that doesn’t nourish you or serve a purpose other than to momentarily fill a void.

10. Live in such a way that others can benefit from what you have to sacrifice or suffer…someone ought to benefit from the tough stuff, right? There’s a blessing in watching others make good of what once seemed not so good.

…there’s a bit of random thoughts for now.

XOXO

I was messaging with a friend tonight and being caught up in myself (how selfish!) I completely forgot that today is a HUGE day for her. Today she celebrates a 2 year commitment to break a cycle and embrace herself as God sees her.

I realized what today is when I read a post she had on Facebook and with her permission I am sharing her post because there truly is so much to learn from the experiences of others. Sometimes we can take it all and sometimes it’s just bits and pieces of nuggets, but what my dear friend wrote tonight is truly something to take in and apply. Enjoy!

So…..many of my close friends know that today, December 1st, is a very special day for me.

One, it’s the two year anniversary of me officially starting this phase of my life as a single mother….again.

Two, it was also the beginning day when I chose to make a vow not to date for two years. I figured with the track record I had in regards to relationships, it was time to do some major work on ME. You see, I could only blame the other persons so much until it came time to take a hard long look in the mirror at ME. What’s that definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different? That fit me to a T.

So that is what I have been doing for two years. And it has sucked and been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. And it has been amazing and one of the most rewarding experiences ever! Am I fixed and perfect? Heck, no! But I am eyes wide open and I would like to think much wiser. There is still a lot of work to be done, but I know what it is and am taking those strides to get me there.

What have I learned over these past two years? Here’s a few highlights:
1) It takes a village. Relationships are so key. We are not meant to do this thing called life alone. Make friends. Join groups. Don’t isolate.
2) It’s okay to ask for help and/or to accept offered help. We are not and were never meant to be super-humans. We can’t do it all. We need help. (see #1). This also means to seek out good professional help as needed. There is no shame in speaking to a professional. Get over yourself.
3) I don’t need a man to “complete” me. No man, thing, or person can make me happy, fulfilled, complete, whole, etc. It’s just not possible. It’s not fair to them or me to put that expectation out there.
4) Faith is THE foundation. Sure there will be those who are rolling their eyes reading this. But hey, if you don’t have faith, you don’t have hope. Plain and simple. Plus faith gives you a pretty good set of guidelines to go by when in doubt.
5) Wise counsel is not only a good idea, but it is crucial. You need people in your life that will tell you that you are messing up. You will need people that will listen and then tell you what you don’t want to hear, even though you know they are right. You need good people to bounce your ideas and emotions off of. This ties into #1.
6) Birds of a feather flock together. Or better yet, if you lay down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas. Make sure you are hanging with the right crowd.
7) Marriage is not meant to meet my needs. It’s meant for me to meet someone else’s needs. To completely get over myself, get past my ego, and put someone before me. Wow. Total reality shift there. That’s why it is so, SO important to get your head on straight before getting back out there and rebounding with the first man that comes along.

That’s all that is coming to me right now. There is so much more that I learned, but it is hard to put it to words. I do want to say thank you to each and every friend and family member who has stood beside me along this journey over the past two years. I couldn’t have done this without you. I love you all!

As I drove home tonight, my tummy growled at me signaling that I had only consumed coffee for the day…no good. I sent out a few text messages and nobody was able to join me so I continued driving all the way home until it dawned on me…why do I need a buddy to dine with?!

So, I made U-turn, parked at one of my favorite sushi places and walked in with book and journal in hand. “Table for One, please”. As I sat and ordered my plum wine, I crossed my legs, opened my book and inhaled a deep cleansing breath. As I took a look around I saw the normal chatter, the cute couples on dates, and the annoying crowd too loud for the atmosphere they were in. I couldn’t help but smile!
For an hour and 15 minutes I sipped my wine, took bites of my dinner, and indulged in a good book. As I read I found myself pausing to write notes, scribble out questions, really take in points to ponder, and at some point I realized…this wasn’t a table for one…I was on a date…a God date.

As usual, he met me right where I was. I wasn’t alone…in my singleness…at my table for one I was in perfect company.